First of all, I’d never actually try this, but if I did:
Heat will be required to get rid of the alcohol. So… I do fear the near-beer will taste “cooked” or somehow “off”. You would certainly want to use fining agents including gelatin and lager for a very long time indeed before applying heat to prevent any yeast from getting cooked and giving off a meaty flavor in the finished near-beer. Get that yeast out of there before applying any heat.
Wait for a very dry winter day when the relative humidity is only like 25%, so that the air is “thirsty” and evaporation is thus faster and easier. Then heat the fermented beer outdoors, but out of any sunlight! e.g., in your garage, to about 180 F for, yeah, like 30 minutes, and hope for the best.
Might need to adjust IBUs down in the beer to account for the second heating, unless diluting later in which case you might actually need to kick the IBUs upwards instead. Something to think about anyway.
Use more specialty malts all around. Then you can more safely dilute to help bring the alcohol down another notch after heating.
Also I like the idea of using a ton of Carapils. Yeah, go huge, like 40% or something. Then the beer won’t taste watered down, even though it is.
Yeah, I think that’s a key item… after removing the alcohol, add something like 30-40% preboiled (and thus deoxygenated and sanitized) water to bring the remaining alcohol even lower.
Finally, since you’ve removed all the yeast and also cooked it, you need to add a sprinkle of fresh yeast, prime and bottle. Or you could keg it I guess, but it might take some time to run through a lot of it.
I’d be real curious if anyone could get this to work and still taste decent. Not that I would ever do it, but hey, some poor sops out there will find it useful, and I do find it to be a very interesting experiment, conceptually anyway. So if anyone does try it, let us know how it turns out!