The math section in that article relating to time of cooling is for a counterflow chiller, not an immersion. He said 10 minutes but with exit temp/velocity of coolant and exit temp/velocity of beer.
Regardless I appreciate the link. For the love of God I still can’t figure out why my method takes so damn long. I get that it’s not instantaneous, but 35 minutes with a 2 stage ice bath IC and wort circulation inside the kettle… I’m at a loss.