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My Beautiful Wife

My wife. She is a wonderful mother to my two children. She’s about to surpass me as the breadwinner of the family which will finally allow me to buy an airplane again. She has tolerated my many faults with patience and understanding. She is also hot as all get out.

However, it’s a beautiful day here in North Alabama so I brewed me some Big Honkin’ Stout. I was using a stage-steep process where I steep for 10 minutes at 130 degrees and them some more at higher temps.

I had the burner perfectly adjusted to hold 130 and went back to my beer room to gather some supplies (it used to be called a “guest bedroom” until my wonderful, hot wife let me take it over). She decided she wanted to blow-off our porch while I was away. So, good woman that she is, she decided to turn off my burner and move the almost-wort back inside to the kitchen so she would not get any foreign matter in it.

I’m sure many of you old-timers have run into a problem like this before so I’d like to ask: How deep does one need to bury the body to stay ahead of the law?

not deep at all. few rock on top to keep the coyotes out and you’re good to go.


Pictures of wife? LOL

I see no problem if you were just steeping grains. You have a knowledgeable and thoughtful wife. You should ask her to help you brew.

How big is your ‘back forty’?
or How deep is the swamp? :lol:
My darling wife ‘asked’ me to move a box of beer that I was storing in a back room while it conditions(warmest room in the house) because inlaws are coming to visit.
“Yes Dear”.
But, I pray to God she doesn’t go down to the basement to really see what I have stored down there.
Between Camping stuff, X-C Skiis, gardening equipment, and my brewing supplies, THE BASEMENT IS MINE! :cheers:

I have. But then she touches stuff. That is unacceptable.

Like Jim, I am married to a beautiful woman. Made even more beautiful by the fact that she pukes (literally-has at least once) if she smells brewing beer-I brew stovetop. I am now left totally alone when I brew. She also doesn’t drink. Not a drop. Therefore I have a built-in designated driver everywhere we go. Win-win.

Jim, I sure hope you can resolve this issue legally-I don’t think they allow brewing in jail. In any case, I’m just northeast of you in Chattanooga, so if you need a place to hide out while the incident blows over, we have a spare bedroom and plenty of space for an extra brewer!LOL


DUDE! I know it’s beer and it’s your beer but it’s still not so important as to give up a potential airplane. :lol:

BTW LOML bought me a helicopter for Christmas. Just don’t ask me to compare in size to your airplane.

[quote=“StormyBrew”]not deep at all. few rock on top to keep the coyotes out and you’re good to go.

:cheers: [/quote]
Nooo, it’s always the shallow-grave users that get caught. Have you EVER read a headline that said, “They found the body in a nice deep grave.” I bet you haven’t.

I have no personal experience in this topic. YMMV.

A perfect example of where context is very important. :shock:

So she’s hot, makes good money, and supports your brewing. Then you sir, have no right to complain about anything she does!


But that’s a good point. I are a lucky man.


But that’s a good point. I are a lucky man.[/quote]

Another point for her!

A perfect example of where context is very important. :shock: [/quote]
Ain’t that the truth!?

Punctuation is also equally important. As an example:

“Let’s eat, Grandma.” will get you a tasty, home-cooked meal.


“Let’s eat Grandma.” will get you a trip to the psych ward.


In the old days, a farmer who needed his old dog put down would ask his neighbor to do it since he was so attached to the animal. So I suggest you join a brew club, develop some good friendships and take care fo future issues the old fashioned way.

Hmmm since she is hot…and she was cleaning…perhaps a full on murder is a bit hasty…I think the way to go would be to hand her a shovel and make her dig a nice big deep hole…then gently let her know that if she moves your beer again [b]this[b] (as you show her the nicely dug hole like a price is right model) will be allllll hers

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